My column last week about British wrestling on TV post-World of Sport missed out what may have been the most-viewed show. ‘Rumble’ aired on Britain’s biggest network station, BBC 1, in an early evening slot on Saturday evenings. However, Rumble was not a wrestling show as such, but a comedy drama aimed at a family audience.

As a comedy it was as poor as expected from a mainstream show in the era: virtually all the humour came in the form of weak puns, ‘hilarious’ misunderstandings and fat men falling over. But as a drama it was, in hindsight, perhaps far more insightful than ever intended.

The show’s main star was Brian Glover, a well-known British character actor who’d also wrestled as Leon Arras. Other real-life grapplers Jackie Pallo, Joe Cornelius and Johnny Kidd all make cameos in the series, while boxer Glenn McRory has a minor role.

Glover plays Johnny ‘Pecs’ Britain (presumably a takeoff on real wrestler Johnny ‘Muscles’ England), a former 1970s star now working for the Global Wrestling Federation whose promoter Alan Enstone wrestles as Lord Byron. Despite the fact that the first show we see draws a crowd of 500 and the company is based in Digbeth (an unglamorous suburb of Birmingham), we are assured Byron is the country’s biggest star.

The back story soon becomes clear: Johnny was part of the inter-racial ‘Domino Brothers’ tag team with Jango Jay (the forename likely taken from real life black wrestler Johnny Kwango) who died in a ring accident. Disgruntled with the way he is treated by Enstone, Johnny decided to start his own promotion with half-sister ‘Ma Pecs’ and Jango’s daughter Georgie, who jointly run a fitness centre.

Having decided to call their breakaway group Real American Wrestling (a clearly fraudulent billing of a style common among several genuine British promoters at this time), our heroes quickly come across problems when their posters are torn down and a venue double-booked. They eventually decide to run from a cattle shed and ask a retired grappler to build them a ring; in yet another unfortunately believable moment, he demands that he be allowed to perform on the show as a condition of ring hire.

After Enstone gets the building condemned, thus cancelling the show, he offers to provide a venue, ring and wrestlers in return for 50% of the gate (a practice that’s common in reality, though usually for a flat fee). Our heroes draw a crowd of 300, but Ma loses their entire share of the takings by foolishly gambling on the results with teenage spectators. Georgie accepts Enstone’s offer to hand over his half of the takings in return for one kiss, but as the episode ends we discover it’s a set-up to make Johnny think she has betrayed him.

The next episode begins with Enstone at home in a huge mansion (it appears he’s made his fortune through the computer industry rather than off the back of $5,000 gates), while Johnny is drinking heavily. We then see a somewhat tortuous set of scenes featuring one of the RAW roster who performs as VAT (a takeoff on IRS, the initials being for Britain’s sale tax) and the inevitable confusion when a real tax official arrives.

Eventually our heroes see all the equipment in the gym confiscated after it becomes clear they didn’t pay their taxes on time. To make up the remaining tax shortfall, they run a Chippendales style show – an ironic scene given All Star promoter Brian Dixon spent most of his time running such shows around this time.

Enstone offers another partnership show, but it ends with all the RAW wrestlers viciously beaten. However, Johnny defeats Enstone in an arm wrestling match to win his share of the takings.

Show three begins with Ma Pecs creating a music video featuring the RAW performers, which actually manages to outdo the AWA WrestleRock Rap for jawdropping lameness. However, video producers refuse to market it unless if features Enston; with Ma over a barrel, he persuaders her to sell him Johnny and Jango’s ‘Lord Mountevans’ tag belt (apparently they had to share one strap).

Enstone then agrees to give Johnny a chance to win the belt back by picking a tag team to face him and a partner (the same ‘Dumpster’ who built the RAW ring). While Johnny advises his team, the Beefy Boys, on how to win, Ma calls in an old flame, the wrestling Hypnotist. Clearly based on Kendo Nagasaki (he’s a masked man with rumours of royal connections), he hypnotises Dumpster into attacking his partner in the blue corner. Unfortunately a mix-up means he actually goes after his opponents who quickly taste defeat. (Though supposedly in a larger venue, the show clearly takes place in the same studio set and even repeats some crowd shots from episode one, a familiar feeling to anyone who’s seen Sky Television’s editing on early morning WWE slots.)

At this point, it seems fairly predictable that Johnny will be tempted out of retirement and will defeat Enstone in the final episode to regain the belt. It‘s predictable because it makes perfect sense in a family-based hero and villain show. And it is to prove a wildly incorrect prediction. Read my column next Wednesday to find out why all is not what it seems in the world of Rumble…